Jeux d'enfants

2004-11-24T09:39:00.000-08:00

Ah- 指切りをしてあの日の約束は
ひとりじゃ守りようがない
Ah- 語り明かしたいつかの夢だって
ひとりじゃ叶えようもない

誰にも言えない誰かに言いたい
あの人が誰より大切って

2004-11-24T09:05:00.000-08:00

Hi! It's me again! (who else...?) and I just have to tell you about the new software that I downloaded --- Skype! It's a grrrreat software... It's like talking over a phone using the internet and of cos, you have to have a pc mic. It's really fun and you really hear the actual ringing of a phone when you call or receive call from someone and moreover, you get to talk to people from all over the world! Isn't that wonderful!!! My friend, Hiroto, had been bugging me for ages to download Skype and I just did it like maybe a week ago? Haha...

I also realised something... I haven't typed like this for ages... Long typing... I've gotten used to short msn messages and I've almost forgotten the pleasure of typing like this... ahh... Life is wonderful.... and soon... after I get my pay.. I'll be able to change my phone to Motorola V620!!! Ain't that cool?!?! =D

I can't wait!!!

Plus I have so many other stuff to buy!!! Like bag, tops, non-denim skirt and SHOES....

2004-11-21T19:52:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had this feeling when the moment you step out of the house, you feel...you KNOW that it's a bad idea to go out and yet you still go ahead with it? Well, that's exactly how I felt today when i went out. I was dead tired cos I just came back from work and had practically no sleep at all but i fussed and demanded to go out even though i sense a pounding headache coming. But at that moment, I just had to go out cos Sunday was my off day and I couldn't possibly spend my off day at home, RIGHT?! So I did, and I catched 'Birth' and it kinda sucked... I was hoping that boy would really be her husband reincarnated...but...NO. I think Hollywood is too used to the magic twist formula... that now they always use it on the wrong movies... Inappropriate.

2004-06-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

Lately I have fallen in love with L'Arc~en~Ciel, totally, hopelessly, more-than-willingly. Their music is so, soooooo good! I have heard of them since long ago but I've never paid much attention to them, mostly dismissing them as one of those noisy rock bands. But not too long ago, they released their latest album - SMILE - and i burned it over from Wan Er and the songs are so unbelieveably GOOD. I love all the songs!!! Especially "Hitomi no Jyuunin" which sounds so sad and heart broken... The thing about them is that they don't try to hard to be the typical hard rock band which so many bands are doing in Japan. They stick to their own style and even that comes out naturally by the combination of the four different personalities of the members. I love their music cos they range from all kinds of emotions - happy, sad, depressed and sometimes just having a great time. And finally, I've found someone who can write even more beautiful lyrics than Ayu, and that person is Hyde! His lyrics are always so full of depth and have a deeper realisation than most would have. His descriptions are always so clear and beautiful (yea i know, again but really!!!) that they make you feel so sad all of a sudden. Though those lyrics might or might not be from his own experiences but still he expresses them like he feels every heartbreak, every gladness, every hope of what could have been or every resignation of what was not meant to be. L'Arc~en~Ciel songs has a certain nostalgic tone to it and though some of them sound happy, you can't help but feel that little twinge of something sad in it. I guess there's always a balance.

I love their sad songs, no matter if they're slow or fast or medium. They make me feel nostalgic, sad, happening and...alive. There's always an anticipation feeling to their songs. Those beautifully melancholy tunes, joined by Hyde's soulful sound... A match made in heaven... I love the way Hyde sound, the way he sings is like he sings from the heart. He sings the songs like he really mean it... As if the words are coming straight from the bottom of his heart, wrenched out of his soul. A voice that can make you feel as heart broken as he sounds... Sometimes it's like a thousand feelings mixed into one note...

And of cos, a lot of times, the songs make you feel romantic, so hopeful and glad that you can almost feel the radiance surrounding you. Their music makes you feel so alive and you're helplessly drawn to them, though not unwillingly...

Hitomi no Jyuunin -

When I looked up, the radiance had filled the sky
without losing any of its lustre.
If only we could be like that sun always shining.

The Fourth Avenue Cafe -

Kisetsu wa odayaka ni owari wo tsugeta ne
Idorareta kioku ni yosete
Sayonara ai wo kureta ano hito wa
Kono hitomi ni yurameite ita

The season quietly announced its end
Drawing closer to colored memories
Farewell, to the one who gave me love
The image of you is flickering in my eyes

So when i fell in love with L'Arc~en~Ciel, thus began my obsession for info on them, and i feasted on what i could find online and i got to this website where i listened to their midis and i realised what great albums they have. In fact, their first album was released in 1993 and of cos, they were well known already before that. Their first dome tour was sold out in 4 mins. Can you imagine how popular they are??? 56,000 tickets sold in 4 mins!!!
Then as I tried the midis out, I decided that their album, "True" is such a fantastic album. All the songs inside are so incredibly suited to my taste of music - the sweet, nostalgic kind and i realised I just HAD to get that album and so I went to get it, on that day itself, when i first listened to the midis. It's like a force coming over me, telling me to GET the album as soon as humanly possible. And I LOVE the album!!! All the songs are fabulous!!!! It is the first album that I feel so proud and happy of having...!!! ^_^

I love hyde!!!! His voice is so deep, soulful, rebellious and sexy... Mmm...mmm...
His eyes are also soulful, secretive and searing...
Gackt is also not bad, with his bad guy look, the whitish blond hair all ruffled up, the rugged clothings, contact lenses of all colours and his mysterious eyes - a rebellious conqueror...

I haven't bought any Gackt albums yet but I have his "seki-ray" on one of my old compilations and it's a GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS song!!! Believe me... It's full of angst and there's a sort of drunken feel to it... A whirlwind of emotions...
Gackt is HOT, HOT, HOT. If you ask me if there's an ideal guy that i would wanna be married to, it would likely be someone like Gackt, well, preferably Gackt
himself... HAHAHAHA.....

Gackt Camui (Gakuto Kamui), I love you!!!!!!~~~~~ Muacks!!!! (love signs appear in eyes)

Now, the albums that i really wanna buy now are Gackt's latest album and one of Glay's albums just to try them out. Perhaps one of their best albums or the latest... We'll see... Gackt's latest album is a best album, I should think it's his personal first solo best album, he used to be with Malice Mizer.

Alright, that's all for now, will tell you more soon!!! Yippee aye aye!!! ^_^

2004-06-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

hello people... haven't blogged in ages... mainly because there ain't much to say... been working hard lately... successfully enrolled for my IS classes coming sem and hard to believe but school's opening soon. Hmm... i think no matter what, every workplace will have something fishy and suspicious going on like what is happening at mine. Some disputes are bound to happen and you just can't help it. Being a naturally curious person, it's hard to keep my nose outta it so sometimes some comments slip out. Not always welcome to those disputing parties, though. Well, just want this month to pass quick and get my pay!!! With lots of commission, i hope!!! =D

2004-06-03T04:00:00.000-07:00

I really love writing... I really do... and since I'm so bored these 2 months of holidays working... I thought why not this time REALLy get started on that book of mine... I have wanted to write a book of my own for quite a long time now and now that I'm really very, seriously bored with WORK.. gawd.... I might as well get going... So i started... yesterday and i think i came up with a good 2 pages... I'm sure I'll be able to finish my book in a month if i faithfully add at least 2 pages everyday... That is if I don't get lazy after the third page... which is highly likely to happen... in fact, I think I'm so lazy today that I'm not gonna add any pages today... *sigh* I'm just so unbelievably lazy... well, I guess it's a writer thing... we would finish it when we get pushed or mightily encouraged but once we feel lazy... that's it... no work for another three days... and that's why sometimes good work take so long to publish... but not to worry... I'll try my best not to be lazy and at least finish one fifth of the book by the end of the holidays okay? I promise!!! To you, as well as to myself!!!!!!! ;D
I hope... *crosses fingers*
hey didn't i say the whole book earlier on...? Oh well... :P

2004-05-31T07:32:00.000-07:00

hmmm... i wanted to say this since sometime ago but since when did blogger.com become such an adorable place??? It has become so cute and friendly.... Nice...
hmmm... have nothing much to say cos nothing exciting has happened... oh yea... the first singapore idol auditions is this sat... and i'm taking part!!! Heeheehee... ^_^
I hope i get in at least the first round!!! That'd be sooooooooo cool..... haha... and Fun!!!!! =D

Received my results.... they're okay, i guess... I passed every module but the results are not excellent or as great as mine from last semester... But not to worry, i have great confidence i will do better next sem!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!! ;D

2004-05-27T03:42:00.000-07:00

I love fruits basket… It’s such a fantastic manga and anime series and once again, I’m awed by the depth of manga authors… It has once again enforced my thinking that Hollywood movies would never be as interesting as Japanese manga and anime. Even Japanese movies sometimes have more philosophies involved than Hollywood ones. I guess Hollywood is just too lost in its own violence formula. As ever, violence can’t solve anything and violence has an inevitable bleak taste to it. Fruits basket is everything I hope for and desperately want in a manga/anime. It’s funny, romantic, heartwarming and unbelievably touching. All the relationships in it, the characters and philosophies – all touches my heart. Especially the budding love between Kyou and Touru, that is something to look out for and root for… Kyou was a neglected child during his sad childhood mainly because he has the cat spirit within him and that is kind of like a curse. He always has to have these “” beads on his left wrist, he must not take them off because if he takes them off, he will turn into the true and original form of the cat, which is an unsightly monster and I believe it stinks too… This has always been a burden and problem for Kyou as he finds it hard to be accepted and in fact, I believe he also finds it hard to accept himself. Being a cat, he was always excluded out of activities that other Souma’s are involved in and he even had to live on the “outer” side of the Souma HQ compound. He deeply wants to be included, that is his greatest desire – to be accepted and have stuff that he never had, he wants stuff that Yuki has as an “inner” member of the Souma family. I’m not really clear about what exactly does he want as he always says “stuff” but I guess it’s the privileges as an “inner” member. As in the Animal Zodiac story, the cat was excluded of the 12 animals because the rat lied to him and Yuki is a mouse so I guess that forms the root of their feud. Kyou always feels that Yuki is the cause of all his pain and suffering and also the cause of his sorry plight as the “outcast” of their family.
Before meeting Touru, Kyou was quite a hardened young man with much angst in him and revenge on Yuki was perpetually on his mind. But after meeting Touru, he seemed to have softened much. He can now afford to be gentle to people, well, basically mainly to Touru. He can still lash out at people when he’s not happy at what they say to him but always, ALWAYS, when he turns to Touru, he will become very gentle and even charming. Although he doesn’t verbally express his feelings, it is obvious that he cares deeply for Touru. He even cares about where she’s going and her safety and one time, to ensure that she’s ok, he followed her silently to where she was visiting her grandpa and rushed immediately to her when she suddenly kneeled on the street. Whereas he would immediately lash out at other girls when they demand something of him, he always gives in to Touru. He’s always so tender to Touru!!! There’s always an indulging smile for Touru from Kyou. Touru also worry about Kyou a lot because she knows his tendency to run away at the slightest rejection by those around him and his sad past of rejection in the Souma family. It is evident that Touru cares deeply for Kyou and throughout the whole manga, endless teases about the two of them have been made by people around them and the two of them will blush and fluster instantly. Kawaii ne!!!~ ^_^

Needless to say, I think it’s obvious that they really like each other a lot and my guess would be that they would come to love each other deeply, if they haven’t already… But Kyou is a guy who finds it hard to reveal his true feelings about people and he’s always putting on a brave and steely front to keep people from recognising his true feelings. He makes himself seem unapproachable to prevent people from getting close to him. I think the main reason why he always keeps his true feelings veiled is he is incredibly terrified that people would reject him and the person he truly is. He is afraid that people would not accept him and thus maybe he figured it’s easier for him to reject people first before getting rejected by others after revealing his true feelings. Especially with Touru, I guess Kyou is even more hesitant to reveal his true feelings to her as he’s afraid he might be rejected by her and if that should happen, which I think would not, he would be totally shattered beyond repair…
Touru is a very blur girl and I think it might take her a while to realise her true feelings for Kyou… But no doubt, she likes him a lot. It has become clear that Touru hasn’t got over her mother’s death and it will also take her some time to finally get over it. In her own way, she’s also putting on a brave front, like Kyou, by being so ever cheerful to the rest of humanity, especially the 12 animals of the Zodiac.
Both of them have their own battles to fight but I believe that one day, they will eventually come to a point where they are ready to leave the unhappy pasts behind and move on to the better and cheerful future. There will come a day where they will be able to face up to themselves, the selves deep within themselves. They will also be able to face up to each other and their real, honest feelings about each other…
And how I anticipate the arrival of that day!

The feeling has always been there… hidden from realisation…

2004-05-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

"Which Mythological Form Are You?" - Results:

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life. She cried a single tear and shed a single drop of blood upon the earth where she buried it. From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into the world." Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek), Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian). The Goddess is associated with the concept of creation, the number 1, and the element of earth. Her sign is the dawn sun. As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic individual and people are drawn to you. Although sometimes you may seem emotionally distant, you are deeply in tune with other people's feelings and have tremendous empathy. Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your own self. Goddesses are the best friends to have because they're always willing to help.

2004-05-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

Yippee!!! I've finally solved the problem of the missing "NIU server" and now i can finally update my Norman antivirus!!! yay!~ =D

2004-05-04T03:56:00.000-07:00

Yippee!!! Yippee!!! Yippee!!! I got a new laptop!!! I got my very own Fujitsu!!! It's a Fujitsu S6210... and it's so, s o, so pretty!!! =D I'm so happy!!! ^_^

I got it on Labour Day, May 1, my parents went with me to choose the model and fujitsu just appealed so much to me... then after i decided, we got my big sis to come to borrow her credit card so that we can pay by installments. Though she's as bad tempered as ever, well, she did lend her credit card which was crucial. :)

It's so cool!!! My lappie just weighs 1.65kg and it's got so many functions and it's oh so lovely... I love it!!! =D *love in her eyes*

and i can't stop playing with it, or if i'm not, i can't stop thinking about playing with it... heeheehee... =x

and it has 60GB!!! that's kinda alot but it's never enough... haha...

but now i'll have to guard it with my life cos alot of ppl will probably be aiming it at school, just like how my 50 bucks got stolen on Friday... sianz... haha...

oh well.... i really really love my fujitsu!!!! My very own fujitsu!!! =D

2004-04-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

I like being alone. Just spending time with myself and being at peace with ME, just who i am. I really like that feeling. I think, people are truest when they're by themselves, whatever they do when they're alone, how they react when they're alone, all these really show who they really are. Of course, people act differently when they're alone, when they're with company and many people act vastly different in different company which pretty much explains why we all have split personalities. I do enjoy doing a lot of stuff alone, e.g. shopping, watching tv, zoning out and doing nothing and lots, lots more... Simple, yet complicated stuff... It's hard to explain... Cos when i do stuff alone, i really experience it as i would as a person, really experience it fully rather than have friends around you influencing your thoughts and responses... But if your idea of being alone is one poor soul hanging around by himself/herself in a secluded corner of the world, then you're most definitely wrong. Because, one can be alone even in a crowded arena and one can most definitely feel lonely even surrounded with people and activity, sometimes more so when it's crowded. I wouldn't deny that sometimes, i do feel lonely when i'm alone but i don't really detest the loneliness. In fact, i think i welcome it most of the time, kind of like torturing yourself sweetly and softly. Treat it as a sick kind of pleasure. If you have forgotten this, everyone came into this world alone and everyone will eventually leave it alone too. There's nothing you brought when you came and there's nothing you will take away when you leave. All that blossoms will one day wilt. So why don't you take a different perspective of life today? Maybe it's not so bad to be alone, maybe loneliness ain't that bad as it might seem. The next time you feel you need someone, why not try making a move forward alone?

2004-04-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

hello everyone!!! Whoa whoa whoa!!! I haven't updated my blog in ages... how's everyone doin'? i hope good... no more classes for me now... only have my medisoc exam on Friday and after that it's all vacation until the 28th of June.... hmmm it's been a hell of a semester this sem... i mean literally.... hell. It's been crappy and disastrous and horrible considering all the horrible groupwork we had to do and not forgetting to mention all the terrible groupmates I had to work with...

Sometimes, i mean... most of the times this sem, i have never stopped asking myself, why do i have to go through all this shit and why do i have to work with this kind of horrible people whose missions in life seems to be making other people's lives miserable.... Why? Why?? Why???

Oh well, let me tell you this if you dun already know... Mass Comm sucks.... mostly... the people inside mass comm is all pretty much f*cked up individuals who have no sense of direction in life, no idea of what they're gonna do when they, IF they graduate and who never cease to bring that dilemma right into their attitudes towards groupwork. They are unwilling to make ANY effort in ANYthing they do because they don't give a shit of how the final product turns out to be. And for those few who really wanna make it good, you can imagine how torturous the whole process of groupwork can be...

The maddening thing is, not all of them are retards, although i bet most of them are, but it's just that they're just NOT FREAKIN WILLING to DO WORK!!!! It's like they rather lay on the road and get run over by a car or get raped by The Incredible Hulk for the BITCH sistas of mass comm than to get up and do work... And THAT is not what i call mass comm material...

and if u just looked at their attitudes towards the rest of mankind they deem lowerlife than mass commers, you will come to the huge revelation that mass comm sometimes just AIN'T mass comm... I mean, is that really how you try to mass communicate??? Ohh puh-leeeease.....

After saying all that, yes, i am still stuck in mass comm and i always remind myself that i have to persist on in my mass comm life because i am here for journalism and no way am i gonna give up on that.... so folks, I will SURVIVE!!!!

Whoohoo!!!!

Turn the beat around
Love to hear the percussion
Turn it upside down
Love to hear the percussion
Love to hear it

Blow horns you sure sound pretty
Your violins keep movin' to the nitty gritty
When you hear the scratch of the guitars scratchin'
Then you'll know that rhythm carries all the action, so
Woah yeah

Turn the beat around
Love to hear the percussion
Turn it upside down
Love to hear the percussion
Love to hear it

Flute player play your flute 'cause
I know that you want to get your thing off
But you see I've made up my mind about it
It's got to be the rhythm, no doubt about it, woah woah
'Cause when the guitar player start playing
With the syncopated rhythm, with the scratch, scratch, scratch
Makes me wanna move my body yeah, yeah, yeah
And when the drummer starts beating that beat
He nails that beat with the syncopated rhythm
With the rat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat on the drums, hey

Turn the beat around
Love to hear the percussion
Turn it upside down
Love to hear the percussion
Love to hear it
Love to hear it
Love to hear it
Love to hear it

2004-04-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

hello everyone!!!! Haven't blogged in ages.... wow wow wow!!!! Hahaha.... things have been extremely busy at school these past few weeks and i haven't been able to actually come online to do leisure stuff... mainly just for research and work work work..... I haven't slept much cos i was always rushing to finish project stuffie and there was these three days when i had like no more than 6 hours of sleep.... hectic huh?

well, now finally, i can rest for a while and recharge myself, get some real sleep and heave a deep breath of relief.... really hope i do okay for my bauhaus project since we put in quite alot of effort in it...

i bought a new bag!!!!!!! i bought it on tues i think... the first day we went to bras basah to print out some of our bauhaus stuffie.... after printing, daphne, jai yi and I went to raffles place shopping centre cos daphne wanted to look for her formal shirt so i went along. And guess what i found? My new bag!!!!!! I saw it at one of those bullock carts stalls and it was gorgeous!!! It's so colourful and big so i can throw all my stuff in and it's so, so, so very nice!!!! I love it!!! and there's an outer layer of nice plastic so i dun have to worry abt it getting wet in the rain.... I love my new bag!!!!! can't believe it..... I got a new bag!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!! ;D

2004-04-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

I've been so stressed up lately. It's not the assignments that are horrible and killing me - it's those horrendous group members that I have. they never do work. Even if they did, it's super last min work and only after you've nagged them for the zillionth time. And even then, it's still slipshod work.

So if i don't do the work, no one will.
Lately, all i seem to do is group work. Group work as in work for my group project. I'm always doing group project research, reading up of the materials and compiling and basically doing everything. So much so that i barely have time for myself. Mostly no time at all. Like after tennis on Wednesday at 10, i was feeling damn tired and boy, do i wanna go home and catch up on my sleep. But i persevered and i went to the National Library to do research and it took quite long and by the time i got home it's night time, i can't take any naps and i haven't even studied for my editing test which is the next day. I didn't even know how to edit ok.

This stress is suffocating me up to a point where i can't breathe and sometimes i just wanna die... Death would be like a release.... I cry almost everyday. I need to have time for myself too... Time to do my individual work and revision and stuff.... but sadly i don't have... I just feel like crying my life away sometimes....I just wanna write....

2004-03-27T08:04:00.000-08:00

today woke up, watched my jap drama serial which was touching and heart-warming as usual....

after that went to start doing work, but then my eldest sister came back and had a small awkward dispute with my mum over money matters.... damn frustrating... couldn't concentrate and so stopped and went to watch tv.... somehow i just got so damn irritated by my sis and her complaining of my mum demanding more monthly allowance from her and it just tickled me off cos i was like trying to do work!!!

I was already under so much stress... i'm the only one doing work in my bauhaus group and i had to finish up my part for the medisoc paper also.... our medisoc proj isn't going as fast as i like either..... then there's like so much homework to finish!!! I have to prepare for the third assessed speech also which i haven't even decided on a topic yet much less say research....

and i was talking talking about those stuff and i just got really stressed up and sad and as i talked, i started crying... and i cried really, really hard....
my mum was there... listening to me and she felt for me.... she was like just do what you can... do slowly...dun stress.... not worth getting so angry at those ppl and hurting your own health while they live happily on (their mundane lives).... and it's true...... i mean... so many times before, i've got so worked up and angry at those useless group mates that i have that i just feel like i'll get a heart attack and die.... heart pain.... then so many times i've cried.... so hard.... at the injustice and the stress i'm constantly under and the burden i'm constantly carrying for the group... the heavy workload....

it's actually hurting my health alot cos i have like the minimum sleep... working late nights, stressing... and getting up early for class the next day and still be on time... it's playing havoc on my health.... and it's even made more pimples pop out on my face.... darn it.... and when you wake up late and you still wanna be on time, what do you do? You take cab.... and that's what i do... no wonder i'm so stinkin broke!!! I'm just like a cab ride away from landing in humongous debts.....

*sigh*........ what to do? Horrible, useless groupmates........

2004-03-26T06:23:00.000-08:00

hey guys... haven't blogged in ages.... been very very very busy with school work.... until i think i'm going crazy..... and there's like MORE to come.... sianz ahhhh...... anyway, elan's gonna be dead, he's such a mega bummer i think he deserves it.... suja tried to help him but obviously he's not helping himself....so...who cares?????

now we got this bauhaus project which is the final project for graph comm and believe me, it's not easy....
bauhaus has got quite tricky and anal principles.....it's like you gotta include so many things then you can call your design a bauhaus influenced design and it's just very very ANAL......

my group is pretty ok except they're very stubborn to do research...so far all the research we have are done by yours truly..... it's so maddening sometimes.... but what they don't understand is doing research is not JUST doing it for the sake of doing it cos i ask them to.... it's not just doing it and having it... doing the research really helps you to understand A LOT of stuff.... the concepts and all so if they just get their butts going, i'm sure they would contribute more and better to our group discussions because all of the meetings we have so far were pretty frustrating for me because they DO NOT understand the concepts AT ALL and they were not quite clear about what we have to do..... ARGH.... my class is damn f*cked up laaaaaaaaaaaaaah.......... the people are so damn WEIRD..... i mean, if you DO NOT want to do work, then why the hell are you in school????????! You can socialise OUTSIDE school what........ ARGHHHH GURGH GURGH GURGH!!!!!

God i'm so tired........ i'm like so weighed down because as it appears, i'm ALWAYS doing the bulk of the work in the group and of cos, nearly all of the research and in this graph comm case, ALL of it. It's damn draining ok...... sigh..... why ah why???? why do this to me???? i'd like to have a life too you know.... it's like i'm the only one doing the work here hellooooooo???? for this bauhaus project, research is VERY IMPORTANT!!!! DRILL IT INTO YOUR BRAIN!!!!!!!

hohoho but yippee!!! tomorrow's my cartoon day!!! Got fruits basket -- my favourite!!!! ;D

aiyaaaaaaa, tomorrow MUST start on my part of the medisoc paper already, edit it again and make it better with more info, i hope, correcting and editing..... wish me luck!!!

2004-03-16T05:57:00.000-08:00

sigh... it's me!!!! Dear sab.....

Many people have alot of misconceptions about mass comm. Many think that mass comm is a cool course with lots of cool people who dresses so funky for school everyday... Well, now I am going to get your facts straight once and for all.

Firstly, mass comm is a cool course, that i agree, i LOVE the course because i love the modules, not because i wanna be one of the 'cool' people. Totally not... If mass comm doesn't offer journalism, i would probably be in JC already....taking the art stream....

and those 'cool' people in mass comm.... from the bottom of my heart, i DO NOT think they're cool... because they're all posers... and no poser can EVER be cool... trust me... they're all just living in the shadows of what they want to become... those people can't and refuse to accept who they really are and i think that's sad... really...

and i MUST emphasise this... MANY mass comm people are SUPER DUPER INCREDIBLY lazy!!! I got quite a few number of those cases in my class and boy oh boy, aren't they a bomb in your ass..... they NEVER do work until the last min and not until you've reminded them for the 15 millionth time... and some even then WOULD NOT do any work... that's why it's essential we have peer evaluation after each and every group work... that's where you send those people to hell...where they belong... but you can't imagine how kind fate is to them until now.... i hate the last min work motto they live by in life... it's like if it's not until the very last min, they WOULD NOT, just REFUSE to do work, no matter how hard you chase them... and so you can imagine how horrible the work is when it's done in such a short amount of time and in so little consideration of the quality of the work....

i mean, if these people doesn't treat work seriously, if they don't wanna get the best grades they can possibly get, why the hell come to poly??? might as well just study at home right??? since they're all so lazy and can't even get up for a freakin class half the time and are late 80% of the time... and to think they might have lesser travel time than me.... Bastards...... for group projects, of cos you have to meet up what!!!! it's just... it's JUST THE WAY THINGS GO!!!!! so slap yourself awake and catch up!!!! honestly i can't see any of them being able to work in the industry...they're all just TOO useless!!!!

There's this girl in my group who ALWAYS ALWAYS is late for EVERYTHING.... she was one and a half hours late for our group meeting once.... it's like...HELLOOOOOOO??? we can do A LOT of stuff in that amount of time!!!
Then there's this guy in my medisoc group called Elan. He NEVER does ANY work AT ALL. NEVER. Just because he's 21 and had been through NS, he thinks he's VERY knowledgeable and always likes to 'impart' his 'wisdom' to us.... like i f*ckin care??? I mean, you have no right AT ALL to have ANY say in the group cos you lost that privilege when you failed to deliver the work that we tell you to do.... he always talks big but he NEVER does any work and when i reminded him again and again, i think he still doesn't have it drilled into his mind that he NEEDS to do those work assigned to him...
and when i tell him about what he needs to do online, he never replies me, i think he's probably trying to ignore me so he can avoid the responsibility of that workload he has to carry and feign ignorance.... what a bastard. And when he tells me that he actually KNOWS what he should do, after i stop talking to him for awhile about it, he seemed to have forgotten about the work again... it's like how am i supposed to be able to trust him to do his work without me reminding and nagging him every 5 seconds??????

for elan, i'm definitely gonna mark him down during peer assessment but for heather, probably not...

heather and elan keeps saying that i'm too kan chiong and all that but it's not that i don't wanna relax about this project, it's that their attitudes towards this project are too slack!!!! They're like, "oh, we can finish this in one day" kind of attitude... so how can i not be anxious, stressed up, depressed and on the verge of killing myself and ending it all????????

god save me......

2004-03-05T23:29:00.000-08:00

The rain has stopped.
Let's go.
Let the tears today
turn into strength for tomorrow.
This is a beautiful dream.
My favourite dream.

- Fruits Basket

2004-03-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

She

She was sitting up there,
from the ground.
Swinging her chair,
Round and round.
She looked down from her perch
Trying to make a search
But she saw nothing but purple skies

The air is getting heavier
Looks like it’s gonna rain
And her eyes were getting sleepier
As she looked in vain
Now all she could hear was thunder,
And she tried to block out the sound
She wanted to get to shelter and yonder,
But onto the chair, she’s bound.

The pitter-pattering of footsteps rushing away
She was drowning in her pain
The water kept on falling, the rain of early May.
She was calling out in vain
She wanted someone to save her
To take her away forever
Far, far away

2004-03-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

What is the emptiness I feel inside?
I’ve never ever felt this way before
If words are what it takes to heal and hypnotise
Then that explains the reason I want more

Unlike what you might think I’m not lonely
Although I feel that there is something that I lack
And if I tried to ignore the feeling let it be
It’ll just come back and haunt my mind

I’m not one to settle for second-best
And I don’t see the logic of deciding before you see the rest
If you think you need to know
Well I think it’s best to go slow!

Too many people in the field
So many lost and so confused
They can’t seem to find the time
To stop and read between the lines

2004-03-04T09:07:00.000-08:00

Looking at you looking at me
You seem so confused
Looking at me looking at you
I don’t want to lose
If I told you all my secrets
All will come unloose

Is it a good thing?
Is it a bad thing?

I know…

We’re all birds of the same skies
One day we’ll all fly away
In search of the horizon
And everything beyond and beautiful
When it all comes clear one day

2004-03-04T08:57:00.000-08:00

hello people........ went to school for nothing today..... damn wasted... the whole day... could have slept more also.... if he was not gonna let us reshoot then why ask us to go to school just to let him see the damn tape today??? Mr. Kam the pussy wuss.

After realising that we have nothing to do in school, we sort of hung out and had lunch in school and took a looooooong time to make the decision to go to Causeway Point.... Lionel wanted to get his comics... When we got there, we went to get his comics and Steph bought a nice fluffly beanie star that is sooooooo nice to hug... after that, we went to catch "Something's Gotta Give". It was really good.... really romantic and heart-warming.....

"I'm not having the time of my life"
"From the bottom of my heart, what are you waiting for?..."

after the movie, we went to check out the espirit outlet and i bought nice shiny lip gloss for six bucks... pretty nice.... the red earth series of cosmetics are really not bad at all......
after we roamed the pasar malam next to causeway point for a while, we all went home......

2004-03-03T08:13:00.001-08:00

hohoho and you know what??? I checked my mail just now and i got this funky and funny reply from Mr.Choy - my graph comm lecturer.... he's so funny..... i like him but graph comm thumbnail drawings of the tribune is just too tedious!!! It's driving me crazy..... and if Ivy doesn't do my two graph comm typo parts for me, i'm pretty screwed cos i haven't even started on them, i just did some thumnail drawings and even THAT is not complete and i don't even have illustrator so i have no idea if i can even use photoshop to do the two typo parts.......... argh but he said if we draw the typeface drawn must be identical to the actual typeface in the computer so i think it's REALLY hard....... but Ivy said she drew...... god knows how she managed an A out of it.......... ARGH!!!! I just wanna get it done and over with and PASS!!!!!!!!!! >.<

2004-03-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

hohoho and you know what??? I checked my mail just now and i got this funky and funny letter from Mr.Choy - my graph comm lecturer.... he's so funny..... i like him but graph comm thumbnail drawings of the tribune is just too tedious!!! It's driving me crazy..... and if Ivy doesn't do my two graph comm typo parts for me, i'm pretty screwed cos i haven't even started on them, i just did some thumnail drawings and even THAT is not complete and i don't even have illustrator so i have no idea if i can even use photoshop to do the two typo parts.......... argh but he said if we draw the typeface drawn must be identical to the actual typeface in the computer so i think it's REALLY hard....... but Ivy said she drew...... god knows how she managed an A out of it.......... ARGH!!!! I just wanna get it done and over with and PASS!!!!!!!!!! >.<

2004-03-03T08:02:00.000-08:00

yoyoyo check it out yo!!! kekekekeke........ it's me!!! Sabrina!!!! hohoho....... today i went to school to photocopy me research and it was A LOT.... so heavy that i felt i was torturing my new bag which i was using for the first time today... poor bag... first outing already have to carry so many things.... until my hands and shoulders were aching from the constant heavy weight... after i was done at the library, i went to town with Edmond.... he's a gay. Hahahaha..... but he's pretty cool... just that he's got some pretty disgusting actions and a lot of times when he talked, he rained some saliva on me.... Ewwwwwwwwww........ *gags* I had to wipe it off with tissue as quickly as possible...... Totally GROSS.......... *gags again*

i stole 50 bucks from my dad's account but surprisingly not much money is even left now....... bummer.... i bought an ayu pic!!! So nice!!! She was smiling really happily and it's like making me happy too if i looked at it.... smiley charm.... cool beans..........

and then at one of the shops at citylink, this notebook shop that sells really cool and niceeeeeee notebooks and notepads, i bought a birthday card for hajar.......it has a butterfly design on it and i just know she'll love it!!! She loves butterflies...... hmmm I really hope she'll like it!!! =D
The birthday card is settled but i still haven't found a present for her......... maybe i'll go check out some stuff tomorrow........ i don't wanna go out JUST to find a present for her.......

My parents were damn pissed when i finally got home cos it was so late.... according to their standards but i feel bad too cos my dad has to fetch me from the custom and if it's too late he won't ahve enough sleep for work tomorrow cos he wakes up sooooo early every morning....... maybe i'll buy some munchies for him tomorrow.... =)

2004-03-02T07:15:00.000-08:00

Are you hot? That show is hmmm... i dunno... seems pretty entertaining... although somewhat low on the intelligence level.... That's what you call "pure entertainment"... Mindless in its purity... haha... and I've never even seriously watched the show before!!! So i can't really give a full and reliable comment but that's what i gather from the show clips anyway...

Something freaky happened on Monday. Steph and I were walking around canteen one and we saw Nurul, siyan and nazurrah sitting somewhere in the canteen so we went over to say hi. Then when we got there, i think they were looking at people's blogs and just as fate would have it, they were looking at my blog. My old blog anyway, the watermelon one... Not that you would know of anyway... hahaha... And Steph being Steph, she said, "what's this?" and bent down towards the laptop to look and she read out: "Sabrina a.k.a. AYU" LOL............ they looked shocked.... I wanted to burst out laughing.... HAHAHAHAHA.........

But it was my old blog so i'm not worried or anything cos that old blog had nothing much on it anyway....

2004-03-02T06:57:00.000-08:00

hello folks.....erin brokovich seems so cool.... i'm definitely gonna watch it on sunday.... and yay!!! I collected the tote bag i bought from yahoo auction on monday and I'm gonna use it tomorrow!!! Woohoo!!! Sooooooo fun!!! I luuuuuurve bags..... I have lots of them but never enough nice ones.... But this new pink and white one is CUTE....... alright enough enough.... =D

tomorrow i'm gonna go photocopy the research from the books i borrowed from the school library... i'm not sure if we're meeting to discuss medisoc animation project tomorrow but i kinda hope we do... i'm gonna cut out the pieces of paper tomorrow morning and hand them over to Ivy for her to do graphcomm for me... i hope she finishes it quick and hand them back for me to mount... or she can mount it for me..then hand the entire completed project to me.... argh i just wanna get it done!!! I'm almost done with the mini Tribune pages... still got about three and a half pages to go.... not that bad since Ivy's taking care of the other two parts of the assignment for me... I REALLY hope she does it for me though.... these kinda things you can never be sure but i sure hope and wish and pray that she would cos number 1, i don't have the ideal software to do the other two parts of the assignment and number 2, i can't draw for nuts.... so yeah... let's all pray for me that she REALLY does it for me..... okok dear sab is getting long-winded here....

*gulps down some more milo* mmmm.... I love milo.... other than milo, i REALLY love ice lemon tea.... they're the best...

ohh yeah... we have to reshoot the rest of our scenes other than scene one though i feel we should reshoot scene one too... darn we should just redo everything cos everything's focus and lighting is OFF.
Damn off... i knew xiao ying would be the suckiest camera person but not this BAD!!!argh must i do everything myself???!
but now Mr. Kam the pussy wuss won't let us reshoot, at least not until he sees our tape and deem it absolutely necessary for us to reshoot.... talk about pussy wusses....

*rolls eyes*

2004-02-29T05:12:00.000-08:00

hello everybody!~ hohoho.... =D today's medisoc meeting went quite ok.... hmmm... but i still feel like we could have done more..... sigh.... i'm like that about group work... well well well..... sarah's got something wrong going on..... i think she's faced some kinda trauma in her life before she came to mass comm.... she's taking the "i'm so confident" attitude way too seriously and it's gonna kill her sooner or later but i ain't gonna waste my time analysing her.... she can rot for all i care!!! Muahahahaha...... =x

2004-02-28T06:59:00.000-08:00

Today is my cartoons day... I only started work at 2pm but even that also I dilly-dallied... so in the end i only managed to complete one page of the Tribune paper... I promise to myself that i WILL finish the rest of the pages by wed next week... I will!!! Lately, i've been feeling more and more stressed.... could be because of schoolwork but largely also because nothing's really happening in my life right now... and there're no modules that i really like this sem... so boring and depressing... and i'm getting more and more short-tempered recently... I can get very worked up for a trivial matter....I'll just flare up... then i will start crying... i'm feeling very emotional of late... today as i watched the making of Lord of the rings: The return of the king, i started sniffling... I just feel so so so saddd....

Tomorrow i'm finally having my medisoc meeting to do some REAL stuff... watch the video so we can finally START. I hope it goes well... wish me luck.... those damn slackers la.... f*ckers....

2004-02-28T06:42:00.000-08:00

did the location video production shoot on Thursday... it was our first major shoot... i was enthusiastic about it but things turned sour on the set... I'm the director but it seems a certain someone in the group simply refused to listen to me but face it - on set, the director has the final say to EVERYTHING.

Sure you can suggest but the director makes the final decision of how things are gonna be and you listen to the director whether you like it or not. After all, the director must be having the group's best interests at heart. But that person obviously dun give a damn about the roles... Giving me those kinda looks... felt like giving her one tight slap, i tell you. Such a biatch. Total control freak, she wanted to have a say in everything and is so impatient like she couldn't wait to go and die.

And she just HAD to yell ACTION! and CUT! ahead of me... Freakin irritating... Damn shit. And then...she's the editor...oh god... I hope she doesn't ruin my blood and sweat work.... and anyway, i'm the director, i should have a say in editing too... obviously she doesn't knows how the roles work... Dumbass.

She kept bitching about the tape too... cos she bought the tape we used and so after we finished she immediately said "It's MY tape, i'll bring it home". So ok fine. Bring it home you damn piece of shit. And she ordered me to buy the other tape that would be needed to edit but i'm stinkin broke so i'm gonna ask everyone to share...

*Sighs*

2004-02-22T06:54:00.000-08:00

ok people.... check this out... I am greedy - when it comes to food... Like really really greedy...
Whenever I go out, i can spend up to 10 bucks just on food..... That's alot to me...... and considering the times i go out in a week....woohoo! I have to stop buying so much food whenever I'm out!!!! In fact, i am NOT gonna eat outside for the rest of this week..... I think spending so much on FOOD is such a waste! Imagine all the books i can buy from not eating as often outside... So that's it.... Eat less and save up the money for rainy days, else I'll be bankrupt before i hit eighteen.... sheesh.... I just wasted 10 bucks on sushi today.... I hadn't even been planning on getting any food!!! I just wanted a place to sit down before my movie and before you know it, I had spent 10 bucks on sushi...... Eeeks. That's how bad it is..... Gotta practice some discipline down here, Sab.....

2004-02-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

hello all...... this is Sabrina in a daze speaking...... oh god.... *yawns* i'm so tired i can't really think clearly or maybe that's just an excuse but i'm coming up with all sorts of weird descriptions for things i wanna say... so weird..... anyway, i went to the movies today and i watched In America which is about this Irish family who travelled from Canada and crossed the border to America.

The parents are really young, considering their kids are already like 10 and 7 or something... The eldest one is Christie, she always plays with her camcorder and she's a really responsible kinda little girl who helps carry the family's burdens. Her sister is Ariel who's very bubbly and cute and always asking cute questions which bring most of the laughter to the show...

The parents are really loving and you'll get to see how the family came together to adapt to this new city of manhatten - that's where they moved to - to become stronger as a family. It was really touching and realistic and the last part when they lost their good family friend was kinda sad....

Seriously, it was a really good movie by jim schneider plus it was nominated for three oscars!!! Go catch it....

2004-02-20T05:55:00.000-08:00

This is a very nice song by Nelly Furtado called "Turn off the light". I think the lyrics are really meaningful and I can actually relate to them.... So, so niceeeeeeeee......

It's getting so lonely inside this bed
Don't know if I should lick my wounds or say woe is me instead
And there's an aching inside my head
It's telling me I'm better off alone
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you will get some

They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough
Well it's till' I turn off the light, turn off the light
And I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down
till' you see all my dreams
Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems

I looked above the other day
Cuz I think I'm good and ready for a change
I live my life by the moon
If it's high play it low, if it's harvest go slow and if it's full, then go
But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you're gonna get some

[Chorus]

I'm searching for things that I just cannot see
Why don't you don't you don't you come and be with me
I pretend to be cool with me, want to believe
That I can do it on my own without my heart on my sleeve
I'm running, I'm running, catch up with me life
Where is the love that I'm looking to find
It's all in me, can't you see, I can see, why can't you see it's all in me

Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need
Follow me down, follow me down down down,
I do not need I do not need nobody
Where is your logic
Who do you need
Where can you turn in your delicate time of need

2004-02-20T05:40:00.000-08:00

I thought of this on the train back home today - women are actually more scrutinised than men in the entertainment industry. I don't know if it's because women in showbiz have more variety of get-ups or are more flashy but it's like women get criticised ALL THE TIME. In entertainment magazines, you mostly see what the female stars wore to this gala or that awards ceremony and whose dress flopped while the other's wowed the crowds. No signs of the male factor. And the worse thing is, most of the people writing all those stuff are women themselves. *sigh* Women are so critical of women. It's so sad. But anyway, it's all fake so why bother? All those fluffy entertainment writers....corrupting the world....with petty little stories....

2004-02-20T05:39:00.000-08:00

The
break
down
of
sentences.

Articulate thought.

2004-02-18T06:13:00.000-08:00

You know....I think it takes alot of guts to go overseas to study...BY YOURSELF... I mean, you're out there all alone....all your family's back here and because long distance calls cost a space shuttle, you won't get to talk to them everyday.... You'll feel so sad and depressed and EVERYONE'S a stranger.... you have no friends there and everything works in a different way, you're in a foreign place, everyone looks different and nothing's the same anymore.... except maybe your height and the pimple that won't go away. But still, though there're alot of problems with going overseas to study, like accomodation and financial problems, I still feel like going overseas to study university.... I mean... it's so exciting! Plus, I bet the system is not so frigid over there unlike here... Foreign students can actually work in the US and the UK and that can actually help take care of your daily needs and necessities like food and toiletries... But one thing is, if you wanna go overseas to study, you must be prepared to work part time unless you're the son of an MNC or the King of Brunei. Now, for liberal arts, the best I know so far in the US is NYU but I'll have to do more research on this because I don't really know that much yet about the universities in the Us.... I think it'll be really hard to get in but I believe that if I wanna do it, I can... and I will do my best!!! You know, I can just picture myself sitting in the editor's office of The New York Times saying, "Boy, I've come a looooong way..."

2004-02-18T05:53:00.000-08:00

I know many people don't like Britney Spears...maybe because she flaunt her sexual prowess too much, because she's bitchy, because she dressed like a slut in the video of "I'm a slave for you" but I think they hate her because she's just too good. I mean, the whole world is like that. When someone is really good at what they're doing and are actually doing what they love to do, people get jealous. It's easy. But just because you don't have the guts to flash some skin, you have no right to judge someone negatively just because the person does it. Just now I was watching a live performance of Britney doing "Me against the music" and it was really good... She wasn't wearing anything over-flashy, just simple and nice with a really chic hat that shades her eyes... The first thing I noticed is how happy and rocking the musicians looked, they all looked really glad to be there playing for her... Now I think you have to be at least good to earn the respect of your musicians and I think she IS good. The dance was fantastic, the co-ordination perfect and everyone never went out of place, the moves were all swift and smooth which is the usual style of Britney's dances. She is a natural born performer, perfect for the performing arts and boy does she knows how to rock the stage. This is something neither Beyonce or any other american artistes would be able to do.... and if you had watched that performance, it would be hard for you not to feel respect for her.

2004-02-16T06:33:00.000-08:00

Today, I had a great craving for chocolate. Oh wait, make that I thought I had a craving for chocolate but instead I realised I had a craving for salty stuff. Which explains why I didn't really enjoy the chicken rice this afternoon but I LOVED the fries I had at McDonald's later in the evening. I bought snickers today... It totally reminded me of my writcomm days..... god, how i miss writcomm..... i used to work my ass of for it but i loved every minute of it.... late nights, and i bought snickers practically every day cos i know i would want something to munch on while i work during late nights..... and believe me...you easily get hungry if you don't sleep early.... hmmm...... i can't wait for this sem to be over.... i just wanna pass everything nice and splendid ok??!!! well, perhaps do well for medisoc and lvp.... hope i can get at least an A for medisoc.... I think i can.....

2004-02-16T06:21:00.000-08:00

hmmm..... today was a very tired day for me.... it's weird to be soooooo tired on a Monday yet I almost always feel tired at the end of a Monday because it's quite a long day.... Today I was so sleepy, tired and in a daze (I prefer not to call it stupor, that's kinda degrading...), when I wanted to go out of McDonald's House - the one near my school, KAP or whatever you guys call it......I completely didn't see the glass door and I walked right into it! I just went BAM! Knocked my nose, it was freakin painful and my teeth were ringing with the impact.... Just imagine.... and it was sooooooooo embaressing!!! Imagine you were enjoying your meal when someone banged into the glass door... Why did they close the bloody damn door anyway???!!! >.<

2004-02-15T06:57:00.000-08:00

hello folks, thank you for tuning in once again to Sabulous Sunday... Now, let me tell you what happened just now... I watched Moulin Rouge. It was considerably better than when I first attempted to watch it and one very possible reason could be because that last time, I watched it as a pirated VCD so the quality was horrible. Plus, it was sooooo dark I couldn't fathom what was going on half the time. All in all, it was entertaining, some parts were pretty funny, could do with more practice on the vocals though. BUT what is sooooo tragic is that the courtesan played by Nicole Kidman had to die in the end... Whatever happened to fairytale endings??? I mean, come on, the girl worked so hard in dun-even-think-about-breathing costumes and finally found someone to love and she had to die??? Bummer. Having said that, I think Channel 5 should think about showing real nice, intelligent shows from now on...

2004-02-15T00:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know I haven’t posted any new entry in my blog lately but I’ve just been too can’t-be-bothered lately… I can be a very lazy person sometimes but right now, I’ve decided that I shall post as often as I can for anyone out there who’s been looking in and finding nothing before today to know what’s actually going on in my life… Yes, I just used ‘actually’. Cordelia Fernandez said locals use ‘actually’ too often. I kind of agree but sometimes you just can’t help it especially if you’re focusing on getting your message across and that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? In order to become effective communicators, you HAVE to get your message across, clear and simple. Unlike what a lot of people think and are doing, I don’t feel that a blog is something which you use to show off your literary skills or your fantastic sense of humour. A blog should be something personal, something that allows you to remove your mask for that fracture in time and reveal your true self. Not necessarily for others to see. More like for you to recollect your thoughts in your frenzied version of life and recognize yourself once again. Alright people, right here, right now, I shall start telling you about me, myself and I.

2004-01-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

argh.. i give up..... can't change jeux d'enfants to a dark reddish colour...

2004-01-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

heyheyheyhey.....I have a new blog!!! Cool beans.... =D