Soba ni ite
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Ah- 指切りをしてあの日の約束は
ひとりじゃ守りようがない
Ah- 語り明かしたいつかの夢だって
ひとりじゃ叶えようもない
誰にも言えない誰かに言いたい
あの人が誰より大切って
* Ayu Heaven* | 9:39 AM | comment?
Hi! It's me again! (who else...?) and I just have to tell you about the new software that I downloaded --- Skype! It's a grrrreat software... It's like talking over a phone using the internet and of cos, you have to have a pc mic. It's really fun and you really hear the actual ringing of a phone when you call or receive call from someone and moreover, you get to talk to people from all over the world! Isn't that wonderful!!! My friend, Hiroto, had been bugging me for ages to download Skype and I just did it like maybe a week ago? Haha...
I also realised something... I haven't typed like this for ages... Long typing... I've gotten used to short msn messages and I've almost forgotten the pleasure of typing like this... ahh... Life is wonderful.... and soon... after I get my pay.. I'll be able to change my phone to Motorola V620!!! Ain't that cool?!?! =D
I can't wait!!!
Plus I have so many other stuff to buy!!! Like bag, tops, non-denim skirt and SHOES....
* Ayu Heaven* | 9:05 AM | comment?
Have you ever had this feeling when the moment you step out of the house, you feel...you KNOW that it's a bad idea to go out and yet you still go ahead with it? Well, that's exactly how I felt today when i went out. I was dead tired cos I just came back from work and had practically no sleep at all but i fussed and demanded to go out even though i sense a pounding headache coming. But at that moment, I just had to go out cos Sunday was my off day and I couldn't possibly spend my off day at home, RIGHT?! So I did, and I catched 'Birth' and it kinda sucked... I was hoping that boy would really be her husband reincarnated...but...NO. I think Hollywood is too used to the magic twist formula... that now they always use it on the wrong movies... Inappropriate.
* Ayu Heaven* | 7:52 PM | comment?
Lately I have fallen in love with L'Arc~en~Ciel, totally, hopelessly, more-than-willingly. Their music is so, soooooo good! I have heard of them since long ago but I've never paid much attention to them, mostly dismissing them as one of those noisy rock bands. But not too long ago, they released their latest album - SMILE - and i burned it over from Wan Er and the songs are so unbelieveably GOOD. I love all the songs!!! Especially "Hitomi no Jyuunin" which sounds so sad and heart broken... The thing about them is that they don't try to hard to be the typical hard rock band which so many bands are doing in Japan. They stick to their own style and even that comes out naturally by the combination of the four different personalities of the members. I love their music cos they range from all kinds of emotions - happy, sad, depressed and sometimes just having a great time. And finally, I've found someone who can write even more beautiful lyrics than Ayu, and that person is Hyde! His lyrics are always so full of depth and have a deeper realisation than most would have. His descriptions are always so clear and beautiful (yea i know, again but really!!!) that they make you feel so sad all of a sudden. Though those lyrics might or might not be from his own experiences but still he expresses them like he feels every heartbreak, every gladness, every hope of what could have been or every resignation of what was not meant to be. L'Arc~en~Ciel songs has a certain nostalgic tone to it and though some of them sound happy, you can't help but feel that little twinge of something sad in it. I guess there's always a balance.
I love their sad songs, no matter if they're slow or fast or medium. They make me feel nostalgic, sad, happening and...alive. There's always an anticipation feeling to their songs. Those beautifully melancholy tunes, joined by Hyde's soulful sound... A match made in heaven... I love the way Hyde sound, the way he sings is like he sings from the heart. He sings the songs like he really mean it... As if the words are coming straight from the bottom of his heart, wrenched out of his soul. A voice that can make you feel as heart broken as he sounds... Sometimes it's like a thousand feelings mixed into one note...
And of cos, a lot of times, the songs make you feel romantic, so hopeful and glad that you can almost feel the radiance surrounding you. Their music makes you feel so alive and you're helplessly drawn to them, though not unwillingly...
Hitomi no Jyuunin -
When I looked up, the radiance had filled the sky
without losing any of its lustre.
If only we could be like that sun always shining.
The Fourth Avenue Cafe -
Kisetsu wa odayaka ni owari wo tsugeta ne
Idorareta kioku ni yosete
Sayonara ai wo kureta ano hito wa
Kono hitomi ni yurameite ita
The season quietly announced its end
Drawing closer to colored memories
Farewell, to the one who gave me love
The image of you is flickering in my eyes
So when i fell in love with L'Arc~en~Ciel, thus began my obsession for info on them, and i feasted on what i could find online and i got to this website where i listened to their midis and i realised what great albums they have. In fact, their first album was released in 1993 and of cos, they were well known already before that. Their first dome tour was sold out in 4 mins. Can you imagine how popular they are??? 56,000 tickets sold in 4 mins!!!
Then as I tried the midis out, I decided that their album, "True" is such a fantastic album. All the songs inside are so incredibly suited to my taste of music - the sweet, nostalgic kind and i realised I just HAD to get that album and so I went to get it, on that day itself, when i first listened to the midis. It's like a force coming over me, telling me to GET the album as soon as humanly possible. And I LOVE the album!!! All the songs are fabulous!!!! It is the first album that I feel so proud and happy of having...!!! ^_^
I love hyde!!!! His voice is so deep, soulful, rebellious and sexy... Mmm...mmm...
His eyes are also soulful, secretive and searing...
Gackt is also not bad, with his bad guy look, the whitish blond hair all ruffled up, the rugged clothings, contact lenses of all colours and his mysterious eyes - a rebellious conqueror...
I haven't bought any Gackt albums yet but I have his "seki-ray" on one of my old compilations and it's a GORGEOUS, GORGEOUS song!!! Believe me... It's full of angst and there's a sort of drunken feel to it... A whirlwind of emotions...
Gackt is HOT, HOT, HOT. If you ask me if there's an ideal guy that i would wanna be married to, it would likely be someone like Gackt, well, preferably Gackt
himself... HAHAHAHA.....
Gackt Camui (Gakuto Kamui), I love you!!!!!!~~~~~ Muacks!!!! (love signs appear in eyes)
Now, the albums that i really wanna buy now are Gackt's latest album and one of Glay's albums just to try them out. Perhaps one of their best albums or the latest... We'll see... Gackt's latest album is a best album, I should think it's his personal first solo best album, he used to be with Malice Mizer.
Alright, that's all for now, will tell you more soon!!! Yippee aye aye!!! ^_^
* Ayu Heaven* | 9:01 PM | comment?
hello people... haven't blogged in ages... mainly because there ain't much to say... been working hard lately... successfully enrolled for my IS classes coming sem and hard to believe but school's opening soon. Hmm... i think no matter what, every workplace will have something fishy and suspicious going on like what is happening at mine. Some disputes are bound to happen and you just can't help it. Being a naturally curious person, it's hard to keep my nose outta it so sometimes some comments slip out. Not always welcome to those disputing parties, though. Well, just want this month to pass quick and get my pay!!! With lots of commission, i hope!!! =D
* Ayu Heaven* | 8:13 PM | comment?
I really love writing... I really do... and since I'm so bored these 2 months of holidays working... I thought why not this time REALLy get started on that book of mine... I have wanted to write a book of my own for quite a long time now and now that I'm really very, seriously bored with WORK.. gawd.... I might as well get going... So i started... yesterday and i think i came up with a good 2 pages... I'm sure I'll be able to finish my book in a month if i faithfully add at least 2 pages everyday... That is if I don't get lazy after the third page... which is highly likely to happen... in fact, I think I'm so lazy today that I'm not gonna add any pages today... *sigh* I'm just so unbelievably lazy... well, I guess it's a writer thing... we would finish it when we get pushed or mightily encouraged but once we feel lazy... that's it... no work for another three days... and that's why sometimes good work take so long to publish... but not to worry... I'll try my best not to be lazy and at least finish one fifth of the book by the end of the holidays okay? I promise!!! To you, as well as to myself!!!!!!! ;D
I hope... *crosses fingers*
hey didn't i say the whole book earlier on...? Oh well... :P
* Ayu Heaven* | 4:00 AM | comment?
hmmm... i wanted to say this since sometime ago but since when did blogger.com become such an adorable place??? It has become so cute and friendly.... Nice...
hmmm... have nothing much to say cos nothing exciting has happened... oh yea... the first singapore idol auditions is this sat... and i'm taking part!!! Heeheehee... ^_^
I hope i get in at least the first round!!! That'd be sooooooooo cool..... haha... and Fun!!!!! =D
Received my results.... they're okay, i guess... I passed every module but the results are not excellent or as great as mine from last semester... But not to worry, i have great confidence i will do better next sem!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!! ;D
* Ayu Heaven* | 7:32 AM | comment?
I love fruits basket… It’s such a fantastic manga and anime series and once again, I’m awed by the depth of manga authors… It has once again enforced my thinking that Hollywood movies would never be as interesting as Japanese manga and anime. Even Japanese movies sometimes have more philosophies involved than Hollywood ones. I guess Hollywood is just too lost in its own violence formula. As ever, violence can’t solve anything and violence has an inevitable bleak taste to it. Fruits basket is everything I hope for and desperately want in a manga/anime. It’s funny, romantic, heartwarming and unbelievably touching. All the relationships in it, the characters and philosophies – all touches my heart. Especially the budding love between Kyou and Touru, that is something to look out for and root for… Kyou was a neglected child during his sad childhood mainly because he has the cat spirit within him and that is kind of like a curse. He always has to have these “” beads on his left wrist, he must not take them off because if he takes them off, he will turn into the true and original form of the cat, which is an unsightly monster and I believe it stinks too… This has always been a burden and problem for Kyou as he finds it hard to be accepted and in fact, I believe he also finds it hard to accept himself. Being a cat, he was always excluded out of activities that other Souma’s are involved in and he even had to live on the “outer” side of the Souma HQ compound. He deeply wants to be included, that is his greatest desire – to be accepted and have stuff that he never had, he wants stuff that Yuki has as an “inner” member of the Souma family. I’m not really clear about what exactly does he want as he always says “stuff” but I guess it’s the privileges as an “inner” member. As in the Animal Zodiac story, the cat was excluded of the 12 animals because the rat lied to him and Yuki is a mouse so I guess that forms the root of their feud. Kyou always feels that Yuki is the cause of all his pain and suffering and also the cause of his sorry plight as the “outcast” of their family.
Before meeting Touru, Kyou was quite a hardened young man with much angst in him and revenge on Yuki was perpetually on his mind. But after meeting Touru, he seemed to have softened much. He can now afford to be gentle to people, well, basically mainly to Touru. He can still lash out at people when he’s not happy at what they say to him but always, ALWAYS, when he turns to Touru, he will become very gentle and even charming. Although he doesn’t verbally express his feelings, it is obvious that he cares deeply for Touru. He even cares about where she’s going and her safety and one time, to ensure that she’s ok, he followed her silently to where she was visiting her grandpa and rushed immediately to her when she suddenly kneeled on the street. Whereas he would immediately lash out at other girls when they demand something of him, he always gives in to Touru. He’s always so tender to Touru!!! There’s always an indulging smile for Touru from Kyou. Touru also worry about Kyou a lot because she knows his tendency to run away at the slightest rejection by those around him and his sad past of rejection in the Souma family. It is evident that Touru cares deeply for Kyou and throughout the whole manga, endless teases about the two of them have been made by people around them and the two of them will blush and fluster instantly. Kawaii ne!!!~ ^_^
Needless to say, I think it’s obvious that they really like each other a lot and my guess would be that they would come to love each other deeply, if they haven’t already… But Kyou is a guy who finds it hard to reveal his true feelings about people and he’s always putting on a brave and steely front to keep people from recognising his true feelings. He makes himself seem unapproachable to prevent people from getting close to him. I think the main reason why he always keeps his true feelings veiled is he is incredibly terrified that people would reject him and the person he truly is. He is afraid that people would not accept him and thus maybe he figured it’s easier for him to reject people first before getting rejected by others after revealing his true feelings. Especially with Touru, I guess Kyou is even more hesitant to reveal his true feelings to her as he’s afraid he might be rejected by her and if that should happen, which I think would not, he would be totally shattered beyond repair…
Touru is a very blur girl and I think it might take her a while to realise her true feelings for Kyou… But no doubt, she likes him a lot. It has become clear that Touru hasn’t got over her mother’s death and it will also take her some time to finally get over it. In her own way, she’s also putting on a brave front, like Kyou, by being so ever cheerful to the rest of humanity, especially the 12 animals of the Zodiac.
Both of them have their own battles to fight but I believe that one day, they will eventually come to a point where they are ready to leave the unhappy pasts behind and move on to the better and cheerful future. There will come a day where they will be able to face up to themselves, the selves deep within themselves. They will also be able to face up to each other and their real, honest feelings about each other…
And how I anticipate the arrival of that day!
The feeling has always been there… hidden from realisation…
* Ayu Heaven* | 3:42 AM | comment?
"Which Mythological Form Are You?" - Results:
You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life. She cried a single tear and shed a single drop of blood upon the earth where she buried it. From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into the world." Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek), Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian). The Goddess is associated with the concept of creation, the number 1, and the element of earth. Her sign is the dawn sun. As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic individual and people are drawn to you. Although sometimes you may seem emotionally distant, you are deeply in tune with other people's feelings and have tremendous empathy. Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your own self. Goddesses are the best friends to have because they're always willing to help.
* Ayu Heaven* | 3:41 AM | comment?
Welcome